So, About Graduation...

I haven't made a blog post in awhile, or any website related edits for that matter. I suppose I had an excuse (senior year) but mostly it was just pure laziness and detachment. I don't want to have made this website for nothing. So, I am going to force myself to keep it going, and maybe, EVENTUALLY be confident enough to share it.

The Little Fears

I graduated in May and it's been a very weird time for me, and I'm sure it's been strange for my peers as well. Do I know what I want to do? No. Will I figure it out? I sure hope so. I have worries and fears for the future that plague my mind constantly. Will I ever be truly happy and fulfilled? Will I settle for comfort instead of taking the necessary risks in order to get where I want in life? Will I be stuck in a 9-5 that makes me want to bash my head into a wall? Will life become mundane and the only thing I have to look forward to is the newest episode of my favorite TV show? Will I grow apart from all my friends because we lost the drive to keep making plans? Those are just a sliver of the thoughts that flow through my mind day and night.

A graduating blogger usually writes up some post about lessons learned, fears for the future, and end it with an upbeat message about time and how we might not feel like we do, but we still have all the time in the world to figure ourselves out. I don't feel that way so I can't make a post preaching that. I can only write what I feel. Which, as you can probably tell by now is fear. Overwhelming fear.

The Little Things

It feels like many things end once you graduate. Not just the freedom of college (getting drunk on a Wednesday cause the weather is nice and you don't have class? Sure!) but the little things about being young. I was thinking about Halloween and realized that this year, there might not be a Halloween. Sure, I could go to a bar but does anyone go hard with their costumes at bar? Until I have my own place and throw the Halloween bash of the century, I feel like I won't have that holiday that I love so much. Perhaps this is silly thinking, but it's valid nonetheless. Maybe my fellow peers have realized something small as well, like how they won't be able to walk less than 5 seconds to see their friends or order pizza at 3am and stay up till 5am gossiping on a Thursday.

The Little Hopes

Although I seem to be spending most of my time brooding, I try (emphasis on try) to think about the exciting things life holds for me and for us. God willing, life is long. There's so much more to experience. College is four years. Four short years. I don't mean having kids, and all that jazz because that is not where my head is at right now. I'm thinking of the ability to travel, to pursue different endeavors without getting distracted because of a homework deadline. To create a meaningful career and name for myself. The absolute freedom to do things when I want to do them. To decorate a home to look like the inside of my brain because it's my own space that I bought with my own money. To share milestones with my friends and family. To (hopefully) always still be dreaming, creating, and discovering new passions.

The Little Wishes

I wish, like most people wish for, stability, happiness, comfort, joy. But, I also wish that I don't let these years of transition don't get me down. I wish that I don't lose my imagination but instead put it to work. I wish for my dreams and ambitions to come to fruition. I have to realize, however, that all these wishes start with me. I have to be willing to let them come true, I have to be prepared to work for it and to stay positive, confident, and driven.

Is it so wrong to want the fairytale? Isn't there some saying like if you can dream it...

---

So, are you a recent graduate? What do you fear most about the future? I hope that you can relate and maybe find encouragement or comfort in our shared experiences\feelings.

#lifestyle